


War Heroes Rule!

by centaury_squill



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Gen, Hint of pre-slash Snarry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-06 16:08:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17942918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/centaury_squill/pseuds/centaury_squill
Summary: A group of elderly war heroes get together at Grimmauld Place to reminisce. When they discover a magical creature is running amok inside the house, someone suggests going to find help. But they don't need young know-it-alls coming to their rescue, they're war heroes after all! Surely they can deal with one little creature!





	War Heroes Rule!

**Author's Note:**

> My first time writing for this fest, and I'm thrilled to be taking part. Enjoy!

Knock! Knock!! Knock!!! The sound of the heavy metal knocker reverberated throughout number twelve Grimmauld Place.

"Hold on, I'm coming!" Wincing, Sirius Black hobbled down the stairs as fast as he could. His knee hurt with every step; the sooner Snape brewed his much-vaunted Rheumatick Ease potion, the better. Hopefully this would be his express delivery of ingredients arriving.

KNOCK!

"All right, all right, keep your hair on -"

KNOCK!!!

"I'll hex you into next week if you don't shut up!"

**KNOCK!!!**

Swearing, Sirius finally reached the bottom of the stairs. Progress was faster on the flat; he managed to wrestle the heavy oak door open just in time to frustrate another assault on the knocker. Thwarted, the delivery wizard lowered his hand and scowled at him. "You Severus Snape?"

"No."

"I need Severus Snape's signature for this lot." He stepped aside, revealing a sturdy wooden crate.

"I'll sign." Sirius stretched out his hand to take the delivery note.

"No can do. Has to be Severus Snape. Himself. In -"

"Person, yeah." He sighed. "Wait there, I'll get him."

But there was no need to climb the stairs in search of Severus, for which his knee was profoundly thankful. By now the noise had roused the rest of the household and they assembled in the hall: Harry Potter, Minerva McGonagall, Pomona Sprout, Kingsley Shacklebolt. And Severus Snape, with a face like thunder.

"What's all this racket?" Snape complained. "I was trying to get forty winks."

"All your fault," Sirius said cheerily. "You, and only you, apparently, have to sign for this delivery."

"Huh? Why?"

"Classified contents, squire," chipped in the couri-wizard. " _Extremely_ dangerous."

"Severus!" Minerva scolded. "Surely you cannot be dabbling in the Dark Arts again!"

"No, of course not." Severus took the delivery note and frowned at it. "I didn't order half these ingredients! There must be some mistake."

"I'll take it away again if you like," said the couri-wizard. "You'll still need to pay, though."

"Now just a minute, you little -" snarled an irate Snape.

"Oh, take delivery of the bloody stuff, sort things out later," interrupted Sirius. The icy draught from the open door was already playing havoc with his rheumatism. He didn't want anything to get in the way of Snape brewing his Rheumatick Ease potion. "The stuff you _did_ order is all there, right?" 

"Well yes, but - oh, all right." Grumbling, Snape dug out a bag of galleons and paid the couri-wizard, before taking proffered quill and parchment and scribbling an illegible signature. Handing them back, he said curtly, "Carry that crate into the hall, would you?"

"Cost you extra, mate," sniggered the couri-wizard. One look at Snape's twitching wand hand wiped the smirk off his face, however, and he did as he was asked.

When he'd gone - grumbling (under his breath) about the lack of a tip - they all gathered round the crate, wands out.

"Just in case," Sirius said. "He did say there were dangerous contents."

Everyone looked at Severus.

"There shouldn't be!" he protested. "I didn't order anything out of the ordinary." He pointed his wand at the crate. "Well, let's see, shall we? _Aperto!_ "

The lid lifted obediently. Snape bent to peer inside, wand held cautiously in front of him. "Hmmm, this all seems to be the ingredients I ordered. I wonder what's lower down?"

Everyone took a firmer grip on their wands.

Snape levitated the ingredients for his Rheumatick Ease potion out of the crate, stacking them in a tidy heap on the hall carpet. "Right, let's see," he muttered, bending over the crate. A bemused expression came over his face. "What the -?"

The others crowded round to peer over his shoulder. Pomona drew in a sharp breath.

" _Scrofulous pox weed_ , Severus? What on earth?"

"And venomous tentacular seeds?" Minerva sounded indignant. "A Class C non-tradeable substance? Severus, really!"

"I didn't order them!" protested Snape. " _These_ -" gesturing towards his pile of ingredients on the carpet - "were all _I_ ordered."

"Maybe you just forgot you ordered them," Sirius said innocently. "You're not getting any younger, after all."

Snape glared at him. "You may be going senile, Black," he snapped. "But I most certainly am not."

"Well then, maybe Minerva's right," Sirius snapped back. "Maybe you _do_ plan to dabble in the Dark Arts again."

"How dare you! I never _dabbled_ in anything. I was always foremost in my field."

"Yeah, foremost in murder and torture, like the rest of your Death Eater cronies!" 

In the ensuing heated argument, nobody noticed a tiny figure slip furtively out of the crate and disappear up the stairs...

* * *

The noises began that evening.

Harry Potter was the first to notice them; at least twenty years younger than the youngest of the other war heroes gathered for their annual reunion, his hearing was correspondingly sharper. But it wasn't long before the eerie shrieks and groans reached such a pitch that nobody, no matter what their level of hearing impairment, could miss them.

"What the hell is _that_?!" exclaimed Sirius.

"And what's it doing?" Harry turned his head to follow the source of the noise - now upstairs, now down. The shrieks were joined by loud thumps and clangs. Whatever was causing them seemed to be running amok throughout number twelve, Grimmauld Place.

"Some sort of magical creature," Minerva said. "Maybe we should call in an expert to deal with it."

"We don't need some young whipper-snapper interfering," Sirius told her indignantly. "We should be able to deal with it ourselves."

"Well, let's find out what it is, first." The shrieks were now coming from the wall behind them. Minerva drew her wand, pointed it at the source of the sound and muttered an identification spell under her breath.

"Oh!" she said, looking surprised. "I _think_ it may be a Dorifingel."

"Good grief! They're incredibly rare," Harry said. "Where can it have come from?"

"I can answer that," said Snape, coming into the room, "or at any rate, how it got into this house." 

"That crate of yours?" guessed Sirius.

Snape, annoyed at having his thunder stolen, gave a grudging nod. "Yes. When I was examining it just now, to see what other dubious substances had been foisted onto me, I found some fresh Dorifingel droppings."

"So - " Minerva said thoughtfully. "Was the Dorifingel meant to be part of the delivery? Or did it stow away? And why?"

"Mmmm." Harry, too, was looking thoughtful. "That delivery. It did seem rather - aimed - at you, Severus."

Snape gave him a dark look, but didn't say anything. Undeterred, Harry pressed on.

"So - is someone trying to frame you? I mean... Class C untradeable substances. Dark Arts type stuff. And all conveniently tacked on to an order for potions ingredients you did send for..."

"That would be a good reason not to call in outside help to deal with that -" As if on cue, another unearthly shriek sounded from behind the wall - "creature."

"Hell, we don't need outside help anyway," Sirius said indignantly. "We're all _war heroes_ , dammit!" Then he seemed to reconsider. "Although, if it would drop Snape in it, I suppose it might not be such a bad idea, at that."

Snape just sneered at him.

"Anyway, who would want to do that to Severus?" Harry wondered.

Sirius barked a laugh. "Take a number, get in line. Folk who think he should be in Azkaban for being an evil Death Eater. Death Eaters who think he isn't evil enough. Folk who think he's a git - no, wait, that would be everybody."

Harry ignored most of this. "Nobody seriously still thinks he should be in Azkaban, surely?" He looked at Kingsley Shacklebolt. "Anyone in the Ministry think like that, Kingsley?"

Kingsley shrugged. "I'm not really in touch with the Ministry of Magic since I retired. How about your James, wouldn't he know? He's an Auror now, I hear."

Harry's lips thinned. "James hasn't spoken to me since Ginny and I split up."

A look of enlightenment crossed Sirius's face. "Oh! Is _that_ why Arthur and Molly didn't want to come to this reunion? Because they knew you'd be here?"

"Yeah. They're not speaking to me either. Neither is Ron. In fact the only member of the family who still gives me the time of day is Al."

"Surprising, considering the names you lumbered him with," Sirius said. He gave Snape an evil grin. "Especially -"

"Might've been worse," Harry interrupted. "I might have named him after you."

Snape sniggered. Sirius raised his wand threateningly. It took all Minerva's powers of persuasion to calm things down...

* * *

Two days later, tempers were getting even more frayed. They'd tried everything they could think of to deal with the Dorifingel: Pomona had laid out various appetising magical plants to tempt it out of hiding; Kingsley and Harry had delved into their repertoire of Auror spells; Snape had brewed a creature-enticing potion whose only effect, much to his annoyance, was to make Kreacher the house-elf follow him wherever he went; they'd all tried Summoning spells. In desperation, Minerva had tried casting a Transfiguration spell through the walls to turn the creature into a mouse. Nothing had worked.

Frustrated, they gathered in the library for a council of war. Sirius began idly leafing through some old Black family books in the faint hope of finding something useful about Dorifingels. So far their only information was that they were incredibly rare (something Harry vaguely remembered from his time at the Ministry of Magic) and that it was illegal to keep one as a pet (Kingsley's contribution).

"That might explain why we've not had a posse of Aurors knocking on the door to arrest Severus," Minerva said thoughtfully, on hearing this. "If whoever set him up is the owner of this Dorifingel, then they're keeping it illegally. They wouldn't want _that_ becoming known."

"So presumably they've realised by now that their pet must have stowed away in that crate," Harry added.

Sirius glanced up from a sinister looking tome and growled, "Shame. I liked the sound of that posse coming to drag Severus away." 

"My, you do sound grumpy today," Snape said in poisonously sweet tones. "Rheumatism playing up again, hmmm?"

Reminded that Snape had taken time off from the Dorifingel hunt to brew him a perfect Rheumatick Ease potion, Sirius had the grace to look abashed. "Nope. Your potion worked a treat. Thanks." This last word was muttered quietly into his book. But if he'd hoped that Snape wouldn't hear it he was doomed to disappointment, as he realised as soon as he heard Snape's self-satisfied snigger.

The others eyed one another uneasily. After two nights without sleep thanks to the Dorifingel's shenanigans, nobody felt like enduring another Snape/Black set-to. But Sirius surprised them all.

"Merlin's balls!" he exclaimed. "Amazing."

"Oh, I know my potions are good," purred Snape. "But it's nice to hear you-"

"No, no, not your potion," Sirius interrupted. "This book. It actually does have an entry on Dorifingels!"

Harry leaned forward eagerly. "It does? What does it say?"

Sirius frowned down at the book. "Not a great deal, unfortunately. Just that they're rare – which we knew already – and they become very attached to their owners."

"So they make good pets? That's it?"

"No, they become _very_ attached to their owners. They'll do anything for them, up to and including murder. They make house-elves look like armed insurgents."

"Ah. That would explain why it's illegal to own one," Minerva said.

"And possibly why it's causing such mayhem," added Sirius. "It's missing its owner."

"Is there any way of identifying its owner?" asked Pomona. "Any spell, or -?"

Sirius turned back to the book. "Maybe," he said, "but I think we'd have to catch the Dorifingel in order to cast it; I don't think it would work at a distance."

Snape groaned. "Then we're fucked."

Help, however, was to come from an unexpected source. That same afternoon, Al Floo-called his father for a chat.

"You're looking tired, Dad!" he said, peering up from the flames. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Harry said. "Haven't been sleeping too well, that's all."

"You look nearly as bad as James," Al said. 

"James? Why, what's wrong with him?" asked Harry, concerned.

"I don't really know. Just that he's lost something very important to him. But he wouldn't tell me what."

And Harry would have thought no more about it if Al hadn't added thoughtfully, "I got the impression from the way he was talking, that whatever it was - was alive."

* * *

"That doesn't mean that it's your son James who owns this Dorifingel," argued Sirius, when Harry had told the others what Al had said. "Maybe he's just lost a girlfriend or something. Or maybe Al was wrong, and whatever he's lost isn't a living creature anyway."

"I'm sure it's James," Harry said stubbornly. "The more I think about it, the surer I am."

"But if that is the case," said Minerva, "then presumably he is the one who sent that crate. Why would James Potter wish to entrap Severus?"

Harry shot Snape an oddly furtive glance. "Dunno," he muttered, "but I'm sure it's him."

Snape narrowed his eyes, but said nothing.

"But does this help?" asked Pomona. "If James isn't speaking to you, you can hardly ask him about it."

"No, but I could pretend to be James," Harry said. "Lure the creature out."

"How?"

"Well, I'm his dad. I'm sure I could imitate his voice."

"Oh, I think we can do better than that," said Snape, idly polishing his nails on his sleeve. "I am an expert in the art of potion making, after all."

"Polyjuice!" exclaimed Harry.

Snape nodded. "Polyjuice, indeed."

It didn't take him long to brew the potion; as he'd said, Snape was an expert in the art, and knew many tricks to shorten the process. Harry, remembering how long it had taken Hermione to make Polyjuice potion back at Hogwarts, could only marvel. At last, there was only one ingredient still to find.

"How will you get some of James’s hair?" asked Minerva.

"Leave it to me," Snape said. He tucked his wand securely away in his pocket and left the house, returning a few hours later with a smug expression and a tuft of black hair.

* * *

Harry stood round the corner from Grimmauld Place, a smoking goblet in his hand. Not wanting to make the Dorifingel suspicious, they'd agreed it would be better for 'James' to knock at the door rather than mysteriously appear within the house. He looked dubiously at the potion, which the addition of James's hair had turned a sinister shade of purple. Hoping this didn't reflect his son's state of mind, Harry resolutely downed the Polyjuice, grimacing at its bitter taste, and tucked the empty goblet away in his pocket.

Almost immediately, his body began to change. He grew two inches in height, his hair changed from grey to black, his face became identical to his son's. When he judged that the transformation was complete, Harry took a deep breath and strode off towards number twelve Grimmauld Place. Soon he stood on the doorstep, reaching up to the serpent-shaped door knocker. 

Sirius opened the door almost before Harry had time to knock. They'd discussed strategies for letting the Dorifingel know its master had arrived, from Harry calling to it (shame he didn't know its name) to the rest of them loudly picking a quarrel with 'James', but in the event none of them were necessary. Harry had no sooner stepped into the hall than a tiny figure shot down the stairs and flung itself into his arms.

* * *

The Dorifingel sat, hunched and disconsolate, in a corner of the cage that Sirius and Pomona had built for it. Its look of utter betrayal when the Polyjuice potion wore off had been heartbreaking to see; everyone hoped that James would soon arrive and take his pet away. They'd had some difficulty in contacting him, however. James wasn't accepting any Floo calls from Grimmauld Place, and it took a cryptic message about a certain 'missing item', relayed via Al, to get his attention. After that, though, it wasn't long before the sound of a vigorously plied door knocker reverberated once more throughout number twelve, Grimmauld Place.

Sirius let him in. Prepared to give James an earful for the trouble he and his Dorifingel had caused, the recriminations died on his lips when he saw how wretched the man looked. The separation had obviously been as hard on him as it had on the Dorifingel. Sirius lost no time in leading James to the library and his caged pet.

Their reunion was touching to see. The moment James opened the cage door, the Dorifingel rushed out and hurled itself into his arms. He held it tightly, crooning endearments. Pomona wasn't the only one to surreptitiously dab at her eyes at the sight. Snape, however, remained unmoved. He glared at James. "Explain yourself, young man," he said, his voice laced with menace. "Why the crateful of Dark Arts supplies added to my perfectly innocent potions order? Why were you trying to frame me?" 

James glared back. "As if you didn't know!" he retorted bitterly.

"I assure you," said Snape, at his most patronising, "I do not."

"Not know! Not know that you're the reason my parents split up? Not know that _he_ -" James pointed at Harry, "is totally obsessed with you? Talked about you all the time, even in his sleep. My mum just couldn't stand it any more."

For once, Snape seemed unsure of himself. He looked at Harry. "Is this true?"

Harry nodded dumbly.

Everyone looked as taken aback by this as Snape, with the exception of Minerva, who gave a satisfied little nod, as at the confirmation of a long-held suspicion.

"We need to talk about this," Snape said quietly, still looking at Harry.

Harry nodded. "Yeah, we do. But first -" turning towards his son, " _you_ have to promise to drop your vendetta against Severus."

James scowled at him. "And if I don't?"

Harry pointed at the Dorifingel, raised his eyebrows meaningfully.

"You wouldn't hurt her?" James gasped.

"No, but I would let the authorities know that you're keeping an illegal pet. They'd take her away, and you'd lose your job."

"Looks like I don't have much choice. Okay, I'll drop my - vendetta - as you call it." He sounded reluctant, as if the words were being dragged out of him.

"You have to promise," Harry insisted.

There was a long silence.

"I promise," James said, even more reluctantly. He flashed a vindictive look at Harry. "That's us done. I don't ever want to see you or speak to you again."

Harry looked sad, but nodded. James held the Dorifingel tightly in his arms and strode towards the door.

* * *

They all stood on the doorstep watching James walk away along Grimmauld Place, his Dorifingel tucked snugly under his coat. Sirius grinned at the others. "Old war heroes rule! We've still got it, guys!"

Under cover of the ensuing laughter, Severus murmured quietly into Harry's ear so only he could hear, "About that talk..."

~ the end ~

**Author's Note:**

> This work is a part of an anonymous fest and the creator will be revealed no later than March 30. Please comment here or at [our community on Dreamwidth.](https://hp-goldenage.dreamwidth.org/69499.html) Thanks! ♥


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